Bout to take a nice relaxing bath and fully pamper myself waiting for things to calm down on flight rising and then give my dragons the same treatment

Flight rising is up, I repeat, flight rising is up!!!!

wlwvoltron:

one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain

(via klanced)

wlwvoltron:

of course i know the seven deadly sins:

vagueposting

ace discourse

anime girl icon

horny on main

real people fandoms

porn bots

and, the worst of them all, voltron

(via klanced)

sugarrue:

My School Gothic That Could Totally Fit Hogwarts

- Teachers can tell you about your second cousin twice removed that went to school there twenty years before you were born in excruciating detail. They don’t remember your first name

- There’s that one corridor that everyone avoids because it is ‘too busy’ yet it still manages to be full everytime you pass it. Who is using that corridor? No one you know

- The Cool Teacher™ who has a basketball hoop and a tennis ball that is always in his hands and sometimes he gets you to shoot at it when you get a question right. It is embarrassing because neither of you can throw

- At 12:45 daily the seagulls and pigeons will start flying around your head. One option is to run, but they may dive bomb you in hopes of getting some food. The other option is to freeze until the dreaded minute is over, but that heightens your chance of getting bird poop on you

- That one kid that never seems to go outside??? Like you go to hand in a late assignment at lunch and there he is???? Just sitting at the desk?? He looks like he should have left at least seven years ago?? The teacher hasn’t noticed

- You’ve met the headmaster twice. You’ve seen him four times outside of assembly, at most

- Once was an accident. He lost track of time when talking to your first-period teacher then felt so awkward about it he pretended he was overseeing the lesson

- The second time may have been a dream. He was wearing a duck hat and several layers in the town centre. He used your full name but never asked why you weren’t in class. It was a Thursday in June at 2:10, 32 degrees

- There’s motivational quotes on the stairs. They make no sense. The paint has been chipping in the same spot for fifteen years

- You have an Eastern Block. No other areas of the school are named like this. It is two classrooms, one of them used for storage. It is in the west

- Meeting the kids that go to the local comprehensive is An Experience

- They tell you on their last school trip they stopped at Greggs. You tell them you don’t know what that is. They are appalled

- At Christmas and Easter, two people with very bland white names come to talk about religion. Several kids get out of it by claiming to be Jehovah’s Witnessess. They are not

- The bland whites sing about fish. You don’t know the words but you sing like you do. The loudest singer gets sweets from them, and you are nothing if not mercenary

- Once, when you were in second year, they stopped serving pasta for lunch. They took the cookies away. You were left with salad and crackers. There was a riot. You never saw that chef again

- The gardens have fresh fruit growing in them. You have never seen anyone pick one. Everyone has scurvy, but the nurse doesn’t care

- Your head of house doesn’t seem to know who you are, except when you are in trouble

- The teachers still call you by your siblings name. They left the school four years ago. Apparently, they were called by your name as well

- There is a gummy sweet permentally melted into one of the beds in your dorm. It was there when you started, and will be there for years to come

- You get tea at half three. You can have tea or juice. You are not allowed coffee. Everone has coffee

- When on a school trip, you are all forced to eat in the same McDonalds, all four hundred plus of you. Your teachers cross the road and eat in a nice café

- You have never been in the library. You were unaware you had a library until you accidentally wandered past it trying to find the head of house office. You have never found it again

- You have four classes a day, each forty minutes long. You spend the other three hours of the school day pretending to participate in a club. You are not sure what it is for. Your education is lacking

- The faculty put you in debate club. All you have debated on is how you pronounce scone. The international students are scared

potterwatch-transcripts:

First Broadcast: 23rd of August 1998

Lee Jordan: Well hello Wizarding World and welcome to another splendid Potterwatch. I’m River your host and we will be hearing from Rapier shortly but first here’s an update on He who Must be Lame, the Dork Lord, wee Tommy Riddle. He’s still hecka dead y’all. And now for our news with Rapier.

George Weasley: Hey River.

Lee: what’s going on Rapier.

George: First up, Professor McGonagall, longtime head of Gryffindor and total badass has been confirmed as Head of Hogwarts. Good work Minnie, I’m very proud.

Lee: I tried to get an interview with the Professor after the event. Here’s what happened.

*crackling sound*

Lee: Professor McGonagall what’s up

Professor McGonagall: Mr Jordan, whilst I appreciate the visit how did you get into my office.

Lee: George Weasley levitated me through the window.

McGonagall: Mr Jordan that is a foolish thing to have done.

Lee: So Minnie how do you feel to be new Hogwarts head.

McGonagall: Please don’t call me Minnie, Mr Jordan.

Lee: ah c’mon Proff M, you love me.

McGonagall: Jordan!

Lee: please Minnie.

*silence followed by angry cat sounds and screaming*

George: That sounded painful River.

Lee: It sure was Rapier.

George: Our next story is that Aurors Neville Longbottom and Ronald ‘Won-Won’ Weasley have managed to track and capture Death-Eater Rabastan Lestrange. The Death-Eater was found hiding in a muggle restaurant called ‘McDonald’s’ in the town of Swindon. After being incapacitated by a well placed Hex from Longbottom he was taken to Azkaban and local muggles were obliviated.

Lee: That’s another of the death eaters down folks. Those idiots are dropping like flies.

George: Indeedy River. Lastly, in a surprise move Grawp the giant, Buckbeak the hippogriff, Firenze the centaur and Krecher the house elf were all awarded Orders of Merlin, 2nd class, the first time each species has been awarded such an honour. Dobby the House Elf also received a posthumous OM, 1st Class.

Lee: Truely a milestone in human/beast relationships.

George: That’s right River. When approched for comment, Grawp said he thought my head was on fire, Krecher called me a blood traitor, Firenze declined comment and Buckbeak said *makes horrible screeching sound*.

Lee: Wonderful. Thank you Rapier. And now, with some breaking news at the Wizengamot we’re going live to Roonil, who is at the scene.

Harry Potter: Hello River. I’m coming to you from the trial of Mundungas ‘Dung’ Fletcher, member of the Order of the Phoenix and idiot.

Lee: what’s he on trial for Roonil?

Harry: Dung was caught selling what he claims were the powdered bones of Voldemort.

Lee: oh really?

Harry: yes however they proved to in fact be, on inspection by Newt Scamander, powdered Crup toenails.

Lee: what did Dung say the powder would do.

Harry: apparently make you immortal, increase magical power tenfold and cure baldness.

Lee: and what did they actually do?

Harry: cause painful vomiting and in a few cases uncontrollable and very fast eyebrow growth.

Lee: what was Dungs sentence Roonil.

Harry: he was let off with a misdemeanour as not even Scamander knew about the side effects. However he was fined 50 galleons for contempt of courts after launching into a lengthy complaint that he never recieved an award for his service to the order. Oh hang on! He’s just been charged another 50 because he pickpocketed Ron Weasley and stole his Order of Merlin.

Lee: Thank you Roonil

Harry: a pleasure River

Lee: I’d like to thank our sponsor, Weasleys Wizard Wheezes and introduce our next guest, Radical.

Neville Longbottom: thanks for having me River.

Lee: Now Radical, you’re close friends with Harry Potter, the Chosen dude himself.

Neville: That’s right River.

Lee: In your opinion, what is Harry Potters greatest achievement. Defeating the Dark Lord? Captaining the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Founding Dumbledore’s Army?

Neville: That time he said ‘no need to call me sir, Professor’ to Snape.

Lee: Really?

Neville: oh yeah greatest achievement by a wizard since Dumbledore defeated Grindlewald.

Lee: Nice. And in your opinion, what was Potters lowest point?

Neville: Easily his date with Cho Chang. Absolute disaster.

Lee: not his time on the run? Or his demonisation by the ministry?

Neville: River, that date was a total train wreck.

Lee: You heard it here folks, The boy who lived is a crappy date. Now Radical, where do you stand on Potters recent attempt to change Werewolf legislation?

Neville: Personally I’m very pro the proposed ‘Lupin Law’. I knew Remus Lupin, he was a great man, but I think Harry is in for a long battle. The old guard at the ministry are very set in their ways.

Lee: some unusually deep political commentary from Potterwatch. On a lighter note, can you confirm the rumours Rita Skeeter is spreading that Harry Potter is in fact three goblins in a trenchcoat?

Neville: oh absolutely River. I thought so everyone knew. The goblins are called Grisbark, Ravnish and Elvendork. Grisbark is the brains of the outfit whilst Ravnish is powerfully magical. Elvendork is a git.

Lee: how does Skeeter get these scoops.

Neville: truly a journalist beyond description.

Lee: thank you very much Radical. Hope we will see you on the show again.

Neville: a pleasure River.

Lee: thank you listeners. We will be back on your airwaves with a back to school special soon. The next password will be: Auror. I’ve been River, goodnight.